By David Adewusi
Getting a woman to become yours is difficult, and even more so if you don’t meet up to your crush’s standard. I know how it feels; you have been stuck on this one girl since secondary school, or a coworker who just joined your workplace, and then you get to realise over and over again that everything you learnt in American romance movies are a lie. This is because wooing African women is an art that should be studied, a process that requires days — or weeks — of constant check-up, texts, and the right words.
Since I have a beautiful African woman as a girlfriend, it’s only fair that I explain 10 simple hacks to having one.
GET HER GIFTS
Almost every woman loves gifts, but unlike their Western counterparts, African women may not have the patience and heart for flowers. Can she cook the flowers? Can it be added to her hair? Would it make her friends jealous when she shows them? No! Most African women want gifts that send messages to other men, your competitors. She wants a gift that would make her friends stare in envy. Perhaps a beautiful wig, or a new phone. Since you know her better, you can come up with more creative gift ideas. But remember, avoid flowers and framed pictures — who gives framed pictures anyways?
TAKE HER OUT
How do you expect her to believe you like her if you always want her to come over? Even if you live in a duplex in a GRA, she would naturally expect you to ask her out a number of times, to different places. You have to understand her need to take pictures in exquisite locations, and an even bigger need to post these pictures on social media. If you constantly put a smile on her face with these outings, perhaps one day she would consider you worthy enough to be with you. Many Togolese women would interpret your taking her out as the ultimate gesture of your love, you just have to know when to wield it right.
HAVE A CAR
Here’s the truth; having an African girlfriend isn’t entirely dependent on whether you have a car or not. But having a car increases your chances by a thousand fold. Take a second to imagine her taking Snapchat pictures in your front seat, or making videos to the song playing from your car stereo set; beautiful, right? Interestingly, it doesn’t have to be the most expensive car in the market, nor does it have to be as sleek as a sports car; as long as she doesn’t have to help you push your car in the sun for it to work, then you are good to go.
Oh! The AC. The air conditioning is equally important. Always make sure it works.
Honestly, many Nigerian men sell themselves short when they land in other African countries. They quickly forget that they are a scarce commodity to these women, who in turn would do anything to have them. If you find yourself in Ghana or Togo, or even countries in Southern Africa, use your Nigerian card as often as you can. When you meet someone new, tell her your tribal name, and then wait for her to ask about your nationality. With your lips tucked to one side, and your hands in your pocket, tell her you are Nigerian. Depending on what African country you are in, this trick will work 8 out of 10 times.
HAVE A NICE APARTMENT
Are you living in a Francophone African country? Are you finding it hard to get women of your dreams due to the language barrier? If this sounds like you, pay close attention to this point: get a fanciful apartment. I’m not talking about an apartment that would give all the houses in Beverly Hills a run for their money, but one beautiful enough to make TikTok videos in, or start a large, African family.
GET THOSE MUSCLES
Understanding Malian women can be daunting, but one thing unifies all of them: their love for muscular men. Are you ripped? Are your arms twice the size of mine? Who knows, your dream woman might just be waiting for you in Mali. Despite the insane attraction to ripped men — don’t ask me why — Malian women also fancy a man who has a respectable job. I mean, they want to see you dressed in a blue shirt and tie on your way to work, waving at them from your car.
SHOW HER YOU HAVE MONEY
Not to term all African women as materialistic, but majority of them want a boyfriend who has the money to take care of her. Nigerian women love to feel secure, and financial security tops the list for almost every woman in a romantic relationship. She would naturally expect you to buy her things, pay for a few more things, and of course enjoy life with your money.
Despite everything, African women are still tough nuts to crack. She still wants you to compliment her hair, make her laugh, and feel happy around you. In fact, none of these hacks would be any helpful if she doesn’t feel happy around you. Make her feel safe, tell her all the funny stories you never shared with anyone, ask her about her deepest fears, her biggest dreams, and watch how all her defenses crumble before you.
David Adewusi has appeared on Kalahari Review, Praxis Magazine, African Writer, and Naked Convos. Currently living in Ibadan and being forced to study in a Nigerian institution, his biggest dream is to be left alone.